Modern sexist films

When we say modern, we mean movies that have come out in the 2000's and after. These films have tropes about women that really shouldn't exist in this day and age, the worst offenders being those from 2010's onwards, because by now people really should know better. These are our picks, so naturally we've taken those that annoy and anger us the most. The order depends on when the film was made and how much it offends us. 


1. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (2010). First of all, the woman's only role in this movie is to be a prize to this guy she doesn't even know. Even worse, she does get to know him, but then in the end all of her memories of him are erased and everything she went through to save everyone, is made redundant. Way to write sexism into, not just the story, but the very core of your story. This is one of those rare instances where we really would have preferred she died over the outcome where she lived.  She would've made a difference and would've at the very least died of her own volition.

1. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017). We had to share the top spot, because both of these movies are equally offensive. We can't believe this film was made in 2017. They have literally removed all of the original myth's female characters. Instead of having an array of very powerful and diverse women that they had in the original story, all the women in this film are there either to die or be kidnapped. Their purpose is solely to motivate the men in the story. It was a painful experience to watch, especially since Jenni is such a big fan of the original Arthur legend. 

3.  Avengers: Age of Ultron (2014). God, this one was infuriating! Because we had actually started to like Black Widow in The Winter Soldier - she was competent with flexible morals, you know, like a spy, and all her interaction with a character who is complete opposite of her added some actual intrigue to her character. And this was accomplished without fabricating  a forced love story. Then Joss Whedon decided to throw all of that "useless" character building out the window, make her a damsel in distress, add a love story that comes right out of the fucking blue (and feels so cringeworthy) and worst of all, makes her barren. Because after all, a uterus is all that women are. And no, Joss Whedon, you are not forgiven in making the dude infertile as well. That was just some bullshit manoeuvring in order to forcefully connect Banner and Black Widow. It's insulting.

4. Robin Hood (2010). Here we have an example of the strong-independent-woman trope, aka a female character who the film shows is capable of taking care of herself but in the end seems to forget all those skills she had and has to be saved by the guy. Also, she has little to no personality, which, granted, plagues pretty much everyone else in this movie, too. 

5. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002). We will write about both this and the 3rd one more extensively later, but when we watched these again we knew both the second and third films had to go on this list. In a nutshell, Èowyn is one of our favourite literary characters ever, and these movies completely annihilated her. Instead of being a cold-blooded fearless warrior, she's a silly lovelorn teenager. The reason why this is higher, is because of the motherfucking cooking scene in the extended version. It's the worst. 

6. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). They turned one of the coolest scenes in the entire book trilogy into a hurried and anti-climactic short fight.  They reduced Èowyn's badass character into a scaredy-cat. It's fine if that's how somebody was originally written, however, Èowyn was not. Plus, she totally should've had steel armour on her.

7. Spider-Man 2 (2004).  We've already written about Mary Jane in another post, so no need to delve into why we find this movie annoying. Though, to be fair, the men in these Spider-Man films aren't a lot better. 

8. Passengers (2016). The premise of this film was actually quite interesting. If they had followed through, it might've made an interesting movie. We just find it hard to believe that someone would forgive, and worse, still want to be with an asshole who lied to you to get into your pants ('cause he lonely, hey) and basically stole your whole life from you. Doesn't make the female character very relatable to us and makes the love story more than a little toxic. Again, if it was written with that in mind, we wouldn't have a problem. It's all about the framing.

9. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005). These movies in general are so bad that we're surprised only this one made it here. But unlike in the previous two pointless outings, in this one the female character does absolutely nothing except walk around barefoot and pregnant (though we do think her clothes in the second film are beyond ridiculous - she looks like she's working at a seedy strip club instead of the senate). Her only role is to give birth and then die. And don't even get us started on the whole weepy "don't go breaking my heart" - routine. We await for the day when male writers realize that pregnant women aren't invalids.

10. Jurassic World (2015). This movie fails particularly in comparison to the original. It's pretty astonishing that a movie from 1993 is less sexist than a film from 2015. The trope of the uptight woman and chill dude does not work in this installment, feels terribly forced and doesn't add anything to their respective characters. They can't all be Leia and Han. And why would anyone in their right mind wear high heels when walking through a forest?!?!?

11. Troy (2004). Jesus, this movie. This is the real Stockholm Syndrome if you ask us. Your captor is not a rapist like those other dudes, so obviously you fall in love with him. None of the women in this story really matter, except Helen of Troy who is basically blamed for the whole war. Otherwise this is a super forgettable movie.

12. Frozen (2013). It's supposed to be all about female empowerment, but one can't help but notice the inconsistencies while watching. Elsa's story is fine, but Anna...ugh. Her life basically revolves around men, and even the ending where she supposedly grew up and did it all for her sister, she still gotta have some arm-candy. We don't want films where men are treated the same way women have been treated for centuries. That's not female empowerment, that's payback. And this film contradicts itself - they say that love at first sight doesn't exist, but then try to fool us into thinking that love at first day does. We mean, it's no different from your usual Disney love story, but when they went out of their way to emphasize how ridiculous it is to fall in love so fast they undermine their own story when exactly that happens in this film.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of a Good Setup

We have been meaning to write about these films ever since we started this blog. We have an unpopular opinion when it comes to Peter Jackson's rendition of this masterpiece of a novel. A myriad of people would cite these films to be among their favourites and might even claim that they are the best film trilogy ever made. We might ruffle some feathers here. You have been warned. 

First of all, we would just like to say (before anyone crucifies us) that we're not such puritans that we can't handle any deviation from the source material. We've been around the block enough to understand that books and movies use a different language. Some things in books need a fundamental change in order to work on screen. All of the adaptations of books we love to film have done that, successfully so. That is why we like them. However, we don't comprehend the argument that you should always separate the book from the movie. When it was announced that these movies were going to be made, which fan of the books would have gone in with zero expectations and thinking that this is probably not going to be like the books that I worship at all? Particularly when the books are so universally loved and famous, plus this is the first time they have properly been adapted, one would expect more faithfulness. Especially towards the characters. Anyway, we'll return to the whining and bitching when writing about the next two movies. 

Also, if you haven't noticed by now, we tend to be rather obsessive about things we like. Other people have religion and politics, we have entertainment.

Watching the first again, we have to backtrack most of our previous disdain and criticism of this one.  It's a pretty damn good adaptation and a well executed piece of cinema. We have quibbles and we'll get to them later, but all in all, as a whole it works. This will be the shortest "review" of the three as we actually enjoy the film. Let's just do the simple pros and cons.

Pros: Number one has to be Viggo. The man was born to play Aragorn. His character is definitely at his best in The Fellowship and every choice they made with his character works in the film. We don't take issue with the casting and most of them are really good. The exteriors: the costumes, the sets, the locations, music - all of them are amazing and breathtaking. Even some of the outdated CGI doesn't bother us as much as it used to. That is because the story is held together very well and manages to stay coherent. They chose the correct parts to cut from the book that wouldn't have translated well to the screen or that didn't have relevance to the main storyline. Neither the story nor the characters are fundamentally different from the book. There are changes and some of them do bother us, but for the most part the changes were for the better both character and storywise. We especially appreciated that they took more of the Lúthien approach (who is truly one of the few better female characters from Tolkien) to Arwen's character.

Cons:   The major one has to be some of the changes in Frodo's character. Most of it has to do with what we call Ring porn. It isn't as bad in this one as it is in the subsequent films, though. He's less mature and knowledgeable than he's supposed to be. That renders him more helpless than we as viewers like. In the book Frodo is resolute and resourceful. Here he has no effect on anything, literally the only thing he gets to decide is to carry the Ring. It's not a huge impediment to liking his character or enjoying the film. Yet. Couple of grumbles about Arwen. The drawing of the sword, which is not a problem in and of itself. It is made completely obsolete and feels like a slap in the face because of what follows in the next two movies. We do have to nitpick, why the hell would you draw a sword in the first place when you have magic that can sweep away your enemies in an instant? The one that annoys us the most is but a moment. It's that demure and deferential look that she has when the fellowship is departing. You are an ancient being with infinite wisdom. What the fuck are you acting like a shy school girl for? It is truly the beginning of her infantilization. The few brief moments of Hollywood sentimentality, which are completely out of place in Tolkien's world, are just that, brief (for now). 

Unfortunately, the sequels don't live up to the setup. All of the factors that work here are almost completely undone in the next two. More to follow... 

Pick of the month

Silence (2016, Martin Scorsese)

It's weird to have to recommend Scorsese. We all know that Scorsese + religion should be an interesting combination. It's criminal how under the radar this film went. The premise is quite simple; two jesuit priests go to Edo period Japan. Famously the period when Japan rejected any outside influences. So some brutal persecution follows (take note Pureflix, this is what real religious persecution entails). It's not simplified though, particularly when you know the destruction/colonization that many Western Christian nations practise(d). 

It's not a look at Japanese/Western relations, but the film is a close examination on faith and doubt. It's an intimate story and not really connected to history per se. If you are someone who thinks that there is no room for doubt in faith, this film will be a very difficult piece to process. We thought it would be the perfect work to recommend to watch for Easter. 

We especially love Scorsese's understanding and sympathy for the Judases. It was already apparent in The Last Temptation of Christ. Here, it seems, he has even more affinity with Judas. Even when we were children growing up Mormon, being taught that the man was wicked, evil, under the influence of Satan and even beyond redemption, we couldn't help but take pity on him. When you read The New Testament, it's a lot more nuanced than what is being taught in Sunday school. 

Not only is the content of the film glorious, the cinematography is stunning. Oh, and this is definitely the role of a religious person for which Andrew Garfield should have been nominated. Maybe if Hacksaw Ridge had been directed by someone more subtle. All of the performances are great in this movie. We're slightly upset that the wonderful Japanese actors don't get credit in the posters the same way. Shame on you, Hollywood. 

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Curse you, manbun!

Movie musical pieces

This will be a list of our personal favourite movie musical songs. This was hard to make, and we had to leave several of our favourites off to keep it succinct. Honourable mentions go to Grease, Prince of Egypt, Wizard of Oz , West Side Story and pretty much every other Disney animation.


1. Heaven's Light/Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. You have to listen to these two together in order to experience the full impact. One of Menken's best and definitely the best villain song ever.

 


















2. Beauty & the Beast from Beauty & the Beast.  This is a shared place because we just couldn't make a decision. This is a classic and deservedly won an Oscar for best song.

 















2. Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins. We never saw this one until we were adults, so it doesn't really have any nostalgic value for us. However, the music is great, in particular this song. It's difficult to listen to this without welling up.

 















4. I Dreamed a Dream from Les Misérables. Say what you will of this adaptation, Anne Hathaway really knocked it out of the park in this one. We can't believe she's our favourite Fantine. This is one of the few scenes in the whole movie where the live-singing actually works. 

 















5. Johanna from Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street.  We don't much care for this rendition of the musical, but the original music is so great that even this version sounds good. The main actors aren't really up to the mark, but the minor characters have some pipes, which is why we chose this version of the song, and not the Quartet which we prefer from the musical.

 















6. I Wonder from Sleeping Beauty. It's Tchaikovsky. Do we need to give any further explanation?

 















7. Devant le Garage from Umbrellas of Cherbourg. This is a beautiful and bittersweet melody, just like the film itself. It's a classic.

 
 













8. My Favourite Things from The Sound of Music. We liked this song the best when we were kids. Today we really like all of them, but this holds a special place in our hearts.

 















9. Lies from Once. This is our only completely diegetic musical here. So, obviously the music is more pop than classic musical arrangement pieces. This would be our personal choice from the film.

10. Heaven On Their Minds from Jesus Christ Superstar. If it was the concept album, it'd obviously be Gethsemane and would be much higher. But since we absolutely wanted to have a song from this composition, we went with the best performance in the film.

 















11. City of Stars from La La Land. This is a really simple tune, but it's so damn effective. We wish we could like the movie as much as we love the soundtrack.

 














12. Jack's Lament from The Nightmare Before Christmas. The whole song is just sung so expressively that we can't help but love it.



 

Disney, retrospectively

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

So basically this is Disney's version of Les Misérables (the musical). We didn't watch this one as religiously as the first four renaissance films and saw it first when we were a bit "older". Despite its glaring problems, it mostly works for us. To be honest, for Disney's standards we think it's a pretty good film and is at least somewhat different from the same old, same old. 

Characters

Quasimodo: A great protagonist. For sure, the kindest and the most gentle main male character Disney has ever had. He's in a really interesting situation; his guardian has taught him that the world is evil and that he himself deserves no love from anyone. Yet he remains hopeful and curious about the outside. His character arc is a tear-jerker. 

Frollo: Hands down the best Disney villain ever. The design, the song, the perversion and the zealous religious hypocrisy, it's all perfect. We think his character and particularly Hellfire was inspired by Judge Turpin (Sweeney) way more than anything from the book. 

Esmeralda: Kicks some major ass. Not only physically. She's one of our favourite Disney females. Like Leia in Star Wars, Esmeralda isn't ruined by becoming a prize for the main hero. It doesn't follow that if a female character ends up with the hero that she's gone, but only in cases where there's no romantic chemistry, hence they are not on an equal footing. To Frollo she's a temptress, to Quasimodo an angel but to Phoebus an equal. She's one of those characters that you aspire to be more like. 

Phoebus: Maybe the main reason we like him so much is because his sense of humour is exactly like our dad's. Not sure if that's a compliment, but it makes for a lovable character. Also a rarity in the Disneyverse because he has a moral awakening, which prompts him to switch sides. 

Minor characters: The irredeemable problem of this movie, the gargoyles... The only way to have salvaged this, would have been to make them imaginary. Of course, coming from a Mormon background we can mental gymnastics any shit. The gypsies are funny, but the story wouldn't have suffered from additional complexity concerning them. 

Story

It borrows much more from Les Misérables (both book and musical) than the book it's based on. This version is definitely not about the church, but about the Hunchback. Book lovers may abhor this, however, the film's storyline functions better from a visual standpoint. This is probably the most epic project Disney has ever undertaken. The music, the animation and the simple ambition to attempt something like this. At points, it fails and spectacularly so (looking at you gargoyles), but when it works, it's fucking breathtaking. We defy anyone to watch Hellfire and not be impressed. Even our nephew, who's only into action/adventure went "WOW!" It has all the same lessons that every other Disney movie has, but the execution tends to be more interesting and engaging. 

Miscellaneous

The music is just amazing. Absolutely the most epic score from Disney, Menken really surpassed himself here. You heard us, Elton John! (But we still love you!) There is some serious tonal dissonance in this film, but it's nowhere near as bad as it is in the next movie. Hercules, here we come.

The art of suspense

Since October is the month of Halloween, we thought we'd jot down films that scared us and which we also liked. We've rated them on a combination of how much they terrified us and  how much we personally like the film. There won't be really any shock horror (like The Human Centipede) or jump-scare movies on this list. Most will be psychological horror/thriller in nature, since that is what we prefer.


1. Cape Fear. This frightens us by far the most on this list - and we saw it as adults! It's a great movie as well, though not our favourite.

  


















2. The Night of the Hunter. It shouldn't come as a surprise that Robert Mitchum is featured twice here. The man scares the living bejesus out of us. This is also one of the most gorgeous looking horror films ever.

3. The Innocents. If the visual image of a scary-ass dude slowly approaching the window in the dark scares you, this movie is definitely not for you. This had a couple of scenes that were actually more frightening than the previous picks combined, but overall the previous two movies had a more terrifying atmosphere. This is supernatural horror done right.

4. Akira. The only film that managed to damage Jonna's psyche. She was 7. But even as adults, we think the movie is truly disturbing.

5. The Shining. This one has a very distressing atmosphere that won't leave you, even after you've finished watching it. It has plenty of WTF-moments, which makes the mood more menacing as well.

6. Pan's Labyrinth. This is another one that has amazing visuals. It is an intriguing mix of horror and fantasy. But the scariest thing for us in this whole picture by far is the general. We found him infinitely more intimidating than any other villain from the 2000's.

7. Psycho. Who hasn't seen this? It's a classic and since we're fans of Hitchcock we had to have something from him here. What really makes this movie is the score. It's frantic and frightening. 

8. 28 Days Later. This is our favourite film from the horror genre, so of course we included it. It doesn't really terrify us, though. The only aspect that kind of gives us that disconcerting feeling are the soldiers.

9. Don't Look Now. Visually stunning with amazing score. Also, one of the few horror films we've seen where the main characters have character arcs.

 









10. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. This film looks amazing. It is probably the most mesmerizing horror movie we've ever seen. The colours in it are especially spectacular.

11. Alien. Again, it's not the inhuman that scares us in this film, but rather the human-like android that gives us cold shivers.

12. The Thing. The one person that deserves most accolades for this movie is the practical effects guy. And Kurt Russell's beard.

 

Pick of the month

The Hustler (1961, Robert Rossen)

This is a classic, and it's a bit weird if you haven't even heard of the movie. Full disclosure, we got around watching this only a few years back. It's a great film and has some pretty insightful criticism about American society in particular and its obsession with success and winning. Not to say that other societies don't have this problem, but the US tends to be the leading voice in this conversation. The picnic scene has some of the best dialogue. It's not exactly an uplifting film, especially for women. It is possible to see her fate as commentary on how women (those with a "questionable" past especially) are viewed as objects, are used and denied their own will in this kind of world.

We enjoyed particularly the interactions between the characters. Paul Newman and Piper Laurie both played people who had been in some way rejected by society and were unified because of that. It's always a pleasure to see two outcasts get together. George C. Scott was creepy. But he was a good counterweight to Newman's character. We don't really have much else to say. We would recommend this to anyone who enjoys intelligent drama with social commentary. Watch it.

ps. we're super proud that we didn't mention how sexy Paul Newman is. Crap!