The Two Turds

We're talking about the extended cuts because those were the filmmakers' vision. And boy oh boy, how we detest this one. More so than the 3rd one (which is not a favourite in our household anyway). We think we've proved that we are capable of analyzing films independent of the book or be at least somewhat objective when it comes to movie adaptations of books we worship. 'Cause the first movie mostly works even separately from the book. This one on the other hand... Even if one was to discard the book entirely, this movie still has some serious structural problems. Not to mention the awful character assassinations. As we've stated previously, there's no use in looking at adaptations separate from the source material. The intention of the filmmakers was to make an adaptation. So excuse our anger.

Pros: Gonna be a real short list. Music, costumes, set designs, locations and most of the actor choices. Some action scenes are entertaining and well-put together. Cinematography is also great. And did we mention music? 'Cause it definitely merits a second shout out. All the external factors that had nothing or little to do with story and characters were good.

Cons: We had to divide this into two parts; our biggest issues are story and characters, the rest would just be nitpicking. Let's start with the story. Anyone who has seen the documentaries knows that they explained the change in the chain of events in the book by some bullshit reasoning that the film's story should be linear (for some reason?). This causes some major trouble for pacing. Goddamn this movie is boring at times.  It starts okay, but the whole middle part is a real drudge to get through. They've added pointless scenes and needless crap that lead nowhere and add nothing to the characters, or at least add nothing good. They've also kept some parts from the book that could have been discarded (like the Dead Marshes). Best example about adding useless stuff - that damn wolf attack scene. What they were clearly trying to do (and they admit to this in the documentaries) is to create conflict and tension artificially. As they say, to "up the ante". There are not many tricks in storytelling we hate more than this one (we'll get to this in greater detail when discussing Faramir). 

In this particular case, linear storytelling is impossible. There's a reason why Tolkien wrote the rest of the story out of sequence after the Fellowship disbanded. By the way, viewers are not stupid - we can pick up on the real sequence of events even if they are told out of order. In the end, we just kept asking "why? why change this? this would've worked just as it was in the book and actually been better cinema-wise." Now it's just out of balance. Additionally, we do not appreciate cheap emotional manipulation tricks (eg. Sam's whole speech at the end of the movie). The movie is riddled with them. 

Moving on to characters. So what the fuck happened to Aragorn? He's an asshole now? (Viggo is still perfect, though). They nullified his growth from the first movie - his character suffers from the invented tension. Because apparently they needed to make him be a total dickbag to Arwen, so that we'll all be like "oh no, whatever will happen to them?", in addition to creating an excruciating love triangle.  This also bleeds into Arwen's character, who is treated abysmally. She's completely infantilized by both Aragorn and her father. She's one of the most ancient and wise beings in that world (if one has read the appendices), here she's a lovelorn teenager who doesn't know her own mind.

Frodo and Sam. This is where it all goes downhill for Frodo. They doubled down on everything that we didn't like about his character in the first film. He's totally passive and none of his actions (which are a few and far between) make any difference. This is also where the Ring porn really kicks off. And that means that Frodo's character is defined by the Ring. In the book, it is a fairly fascinating, gradual and psychological journey for his character. Here,  it's just a simple "Ring is evil, so now Frodo is under its spell". And dear god Sam, what have they done to you?!?! Sure, in the book Sam was very suspicious of Gollum, but NEVER to the point of cruelty or violence.  The wedge they're driving between Sam and Frodo is at its worst in the 3rd movie, so we'll talk more about it then. Outside of Faramir, Sam and Frodo are the primary victims of the forced conflict. Fuck this shit.

That brings us to two literary characters whom we have loved ever since we first read these books, namely Faramir and Éowyn. What they did to both these characters insults us deeply. Let's start off with Faramir. His character introduction was promising (as was Èowyn's) but it was undone in a matter of minutes by everything that followed. As said, Faramir is the biggest victim of this forced conflict/tension bs. For anyone who hasn't read the books, Faramir was supposed to be a peace-loving and gentle soul, someone who preferred a pen and book to a sword and shield. It is said that Faramir and his values were a reflection of Tolkien's own. And since Tolkien had taken part in one of the most destructive wars in history, that's not a difficult connection to make. In the book Faramir is someone who defies toxic masculinity. He goes to war only out of necessity. Yeah, he doesn't have a character arc, but for a character to be relatable and meaningful to the story, an arc is not always required (for minor characters anyway). His purpose in the story is integral for another reason.

Here we present the atrocious and frankly infuriating excuse they gave in the documentaries for the change in his character. Because apparently Faramir needed the exact same arc that his brother had had, in order to create that sweet sweet tension (since evidently there's only one way to create tension) and to keep the Ring eeeevil. Didn't we just see this? Talk about pointless and redundant scenes. The reason Faramir didn't want the Ring was BECAUSE he could see what had happened to Boromir and more importantly, the Ring couldn't offer him anything he wanted. We guess this subtle form of symbolism went over the writers' head. What offends us most is that a character who originally eschewed masculinity's most toxic aspects now embodies them. He's willing to break his promise and torture a pathetic creature in order to gain information. Fuck this shit! 

Now for one of the most influential fictional characters to either of us. We'll write more about Éowyn, especially about her motives and what a badass she is, in the last post - since she isn't really present in the second book so we don't have that much material to go on here. And it shows, because they invented some of the most insulting, stupid and sexist shit that a human mind can conjure up. She's an amazing and truly unconventional character in the books, especially considering the genre and when it was written. Like Faramir with masculinity, Éowyn bucks all the feminine stereotypes. We didn't love her purely because of her badassery, but also because of her personality. She was cold and hard as steel while still having humanity. And it was wonderful to read for once that such a woman isn't automatically a villain or deserving of misery. How often does one see cold and distant male characters who are hailed as complex? Well, here you had a woman who was truly complex while espousing those traits. 

In addition, we were raised in a religion where it was impossible and unheard of for women to be anything else but gentle and nurturing. Women's highest purpose in life was to be a wife and a mother. Even if those are the things that one wants in life, hearing constantly that one's divine duty is to be those things 24/7 can be quite debilitating. So it was pretty insulting for us to see that two female writers managed to turn Èòwyn (written by a man) into a stereotype of a female character. In the books she was never in love with Aragorn but instead of the idea of what his title could give her. If Arwen was a lovelorn teenager, Èowyn is ten times worse. She didn't give a damn what any man thought of her. Here you see her constantly deferring to the men, her gaze is drawn to the men onscreen and her motives and actions are driven by male characters. Èòwyn, probably more than any other character from this story, is personal to us, so yes, we admit that it might affect our judgement somewhat. FUCK.THIS.SHIT.

Also, fuck this scene. Jonna had to leave the room because she was hyperventilating with anger.